Welcome to the Virgin Insurance Website

Now your Binge Drinking doesn't have to end with a Hangover and a Pregnancy Test Kit!

You don't have to pay when you crash in to someone else's car. You don't have to take responsibility for dropping your TV. You are not even expected to lift your feet properly when walking along a pavement - a few raised inches and you're quids in! Why shouldn't the same rules apply to your sex life?

We understand that your image is important to you. That's why we offer to insure your virginity against anything that might come along: whether its a slight indiscretion with a co-worker or three, or just waking up one morning with someone whose name you can't quite remember -- we can help get you back on track.

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For Women

It doesn't matter if you are currently a virgin or if you crossed that bridge a long, long time ago - we have a product to suit you. We can insure against the loss of your virginity or simply against others finding out that you have lost your virginity ... or both! You can tailor the policy to suits your needs.

Check out our faith-based bolt-ons for those who are actually required to be a virgin prior to marriage. Not only do we cover medical expenses to have your hymen repaired before the wedding ceremony, but we include a vaginal rejuvenation to make sure your future spouse is none-the-wiser to your past!

Our fully-comprehensive policies can give you total peace of mind that should there be any "consequences" from sleeping around, you won't have to deal with them.

For Men

The growing trend of women suing men over the loss of their virginity could be striking British shores any time soon. Whether they are claiming from husbands after a divorce or suing boyfriends who left them at the alter, the amounts being claimed for are not to be taken lightly.

Get protected against such claims, for less than the price of a packet of condoms, with one of our legal services options.

As with our female range of products, we can protect your reputation against slander by taking legal action against those that defame your name and/or abilities. For example: non-complimentary gossip about your "size" can be countered by our lawyers with investigation in to the accusing individual's past to determine whether over-use of her sensory area could have caused excessive stretching.
Our virgin insurance products are underwritten by some bank in Iceland, as they know a good investment when they see one. Registered office: Lings Massage Parlour, Back Alley, Imagination Land, NE1 2BU. Not a registered company in England and Wales no XXX666. Not authorised and regulated by the Financial Services Authority.


† Paying off former lovers to keep their mouths shut about your promiscuity is limited to £1000 per claim up to a maximum of 100 payoffs.
* The 50% premium discount for getting neutered only applies to the first two years of your policy.
** Due to pressure from activist groups, girls from Essex no longer have to accept a higher policy excess.